Back from the Dead

So I've been on a bit of a blogging hiatus these past few months. I've had a few things going on in my life, so I've had to adjust the priorities a bit.

But today I was reading back over some old blogs that I'd written and I decided to pick it up again. So here we go.

All of the sudden my life is completely different. One of the things that struck me as I was reading old blogs is that life one year ago was pretty much a complete 180 from where I'm at right now. Instead of worrying about things like how awful my job is, who I'm going to hang out with on Friday night, and whether or not I'm ever going to be able to get a date, now I'm worrying about things like when my husband is getting home from work, whether or not my birth control is working (no babies until I'm done with grad school!!!), how soon we'll be able to be out of debt, and how my meal plan and grocery list are working out.

Huh?! When did I become my mom? Now don't get me wrong...I love my life right now. I've been looking forward to this and counting down the days until I got to be Curtis's wife, and it is absolutely everything I hoped it would be and more. But now that the wedding is over, it's like real life is setting in. And to be honest, I'm not so sure that I'm cut out to be a "housewife." I love the cooking part, and I like to have a nice clean house, but this sitting at home during the day is about to drive me completely crazy. I had a hard time coming up with something to blog about because I'm not doing anything right now! (So rather than continue the cycle of the non-blogging, I opted to write about what I'm not doing.)

I have definitely learned that school alone is not enough to keep me occupied and mentally stimulated, so it is with great relief that I begin my new job on Monday. I'm sure that in not too terribly long I'm going to be wishing for a break, but right now going to work sounds as fun as a day at the spa. Counting down the hours until my husband comes home is just not what I'd call a thrilling day. I love to be a wife!! I'm just ready to be a working one!

Love

It was a monumental day. I was excited and nervous and full of anticipation. It was Valentine's Day. But it wasn't just any Valentine's Day...it was a Valentine's Day when I had a man in my life. I was in the fourth grade and his name was Clay. He gave me a giant solid milk chocolate heart wrapped in red foil and a football valentine, and I gave him a heart-shaped tin full of sweet tarts. We walked up to each other on the playground, exchanged gifts without so much as a word, and parted ways. It was pretty thrilling.

Until this year, that fourth grade Valentine's Day was the only one that I have spent in a relationship. (There are many reasons for this - but I primarily blame screwed up youth group anti-dating theology - anyway, that's another blog for another day.) Now, fourteen years later, I get to spend Valentine's Day with the man who I'm going to spend the rest of my life with. Talk about thrilling! I am getting married in June and we are so busy with work and planning and school, that there isn't much time to make elaborate Valentine's plans, but I honestly don't care at all.

It's amazing how love--real love--puts things into perspective.

- I don't have to have a giant wedding. I just want to be Curtis's wife.

- We don't have to go on a perfect honeymoon. I would stay at the Bed and Breakfast in Post, TX if he was going to be there.

- While they're nice, we don't need all of the wonderful gifts that we registered for. Our home isn't going to be about the stuff that's inside of it, it's going to be about building a life together based on our love for God and each other.

- I don't have to have flowers and candy and giant stuffed animals on February 14th. Because I have the person who I'm going to get to spend every Valentine's Day with for the rest of my life.


The truth is, we will have a big wedding. Our honeymoon is going to be wonderful. We will probably be given some wonderful gifts. And we will most likely at least acknowledge our first Valentine's Day together. But those aren't the things that really matter. What really matters is that we have this incredible gift of love for one another that is just a shallow reflection of our Father's love for us. And if I can be so overwhelmed by the love of my husband-to-be that I am willing to sacrifice anything for him and for that love, how much more should I be willing to sacrifice for the love of God?